I have returned! (from the abyss? from the dead? from the wagon?) I apologise for the hiatus, although I fear that I may have to go AWOL at least once next year as well, since I barely had time to sleep this term, and next term is reportedly going to be even busier. (This term: school hall-opening concerts, mocks, Cinderella, Christmas concerts. Next term: GCSE concert, NYT audition, sixth-form interviews, Jesus Christ Superstar, drama practical exam, and I'm sure I've forgotten plenty. To be honest, these probably all deserve their own blog posts, but y'know, I'm lazy.)
Part of the problem is that I feel obligated to write veritable essays on this blog. Thus, I am considering getting a tumblr for short thoughts when I'm busy. Except a fully anonymous one. Meaning I couldn't link to it here, because too many real life people follow this. If you can find me, I will be impressed. ;)
It's the snowiest English winter since we moved. Luckily I'm on holiday now (\o/) so I have nowhere to go. Well. Except the party of my friend who shall be named Adelaide for sake of convenience. I still envy the not-really-called-that Queen Victoria, who's off visiting family in India for a month. She says it's twenty-five degrees, and the locals are complaining that it's cold.
Perhaps I will write here more. Perhaps not. I feel rather ambivalent towards blogging at the moment: it seems to serve no purpose that a diary wouldn't. Either way, have a good time during whatever winter festival you choose to celebrate. I'm off to hibernate!
18 December 2010
27 November 2010
temporary post of excuses et cetera
busy, busy, busy.
i hate to go a month without updating, but real life is sitting on top of me and hitting me with a big hammer labelled 'work, bitch', so you get this half-intelligible dreck without capital letters instead.
look for me around christmastime. i will give retrospectives and better excuses then (i hope).
i hate to go a month without updating, but real life is sitting on top of me and hitting me with a big hammer labelled 'work, bitch', so you get this half-intelligible dreck without capital letters instead.
look for me around christmastime. i will give retrospectives and better excuses then (i hope).
23 October 2010
Living For Tomorrow
So, three days of internet deprivation might not be pleasant, but it is useful. Still nice to be back, though.
Upcoming posts include Life in C, some rambling on rehearsals, and probably some more of my now-epically-overdue summer posts. (I am developing a bad habit of making promises that I might not keep, here ^^)
For now, have some Strange Product Of Epic Boredom.
~
On hearing that I've never been drunk, someone told me that I need to live life more.
To this, I riposted that I did: it was simply that my way of living life doesn't involve getting drunk.
He said that no, that wasn't what he meant. He meant anyone could get run down by a bus tomorrow, so we need to live in today. He said that this is the only time in our lives when we can do what we like without responsibility.
I didn't agree, but I didn't argue. It did make me think, though.
Do I really live for today? For the most part, I don't. I live for tomorrow, for my future plans and my castles in the air. I rarely make a decision without thinking about its consequences, its repercussions, the pathways it will open for tomorrow.
But should I live for today, really? Because if I live for what I have now, I don't have that much to live for. My friends, I have, but in this moment I can't easily spend time with most of them. My family? They're odd and a little bit askew, and they don't need me enough for me to devote my life to them. The world? I can't even get there. I don't have the independence to enjoy today; my principles and ideas and philosophies stick me to the life I have, and the way I live walls me in.
For the most part, I live for my ambitions. I make a friend today so I will have them tomorrow; I act today so I can act better tomorrow; I read a book today so I will have finished it tomorrow. Is that wrong? Or am I just more optimistic than I thought I was?
It is the way that I live for the future that makes me disagree with the third part of his statement. I don't believe that I'm too young to have to take responsibility for my actions. Today, impulsive decisions might not be problematic, but tomorrow, or someday, they will always have consequences. So living for tomorrow regulates what I do today.
In a way, maybe this is just a philosophy of procrastinating happiness. It seems my philosophy is to get through today and live for tomorrow so that, when tomorrow comes, I will live for today. Tomorrow, I will be independent and free, and I will have the power to make every moment good enough to live for each as it comes.
I will keep living for tomorrow (like Elizabeth Grayson does in Anne of Windy Poplars, I suppose) because that way, when tomorrow comes - and it will, someday, in five or six years perhaps, but someday for a certainty - it will be awesome.
Upcoming posts include Life in C, some rambling on rehearsals, and probably some more of my now-epically-overdue summer posts. (I am developing a bad habit of making promises that I might not keep, here ^^)
For now, have some Strange Product Of Epic Boredom.
~
On hearing that I've never been drunk, someone told me that I need to live life more.
To this, I riposted that I did: it was simply that my way of living life doesn't involve getting drunk.
He said that no, that wasn't what he meant. He meant anyone could get run down by a bus tomorrow, so we need to live in today. He said that this is the only time in our lives when we can do what we like without responsibility.
I didn't agree, but I didn't argue. It did make me think, though.
Do I really live for today? For the most part, I don't. I live for tomorrow, for my future plans and my castles in the air. I rarely make a decision without thinking about its consequences, its repercussions, the pathways it will open for tomorrow.
But should I live for today, really? Because if I live for what I have now, I don't have that much to live for. My friends, I have, but in this moment I can't easily spend time with most of them. My family? They're odd and a little bit askew, and they don't need me enough for me to devote my life to them. The world? I can't even get there. I don't have the independence to enjoy today; my principles and ideas and philosophies stick me to the life I have, and the way I live walls me in.
For the most part, I live for my ambitions. I make a friend today so I will have them tomorrow; I act today so I can act better tomorrow; I read a book today so I will have finished it tomorrow. Is that wrong? Or am I just more optimistic than I thought I was?
It is the way that I live for the future that makes me disagree with the third part of his statement. I don't believe that I'm too young to have to take responsibility for my actions. Today, impulsive decisions might not be problematic, but tomorrow, or someday, they will always have consequences. So living for tomorrow regulates what I do today.
In a way, maybe this is just a philosophy of procrastinating happiness. It seems my philosophy is to get through today and live for tomorrow so that, when tomorrow comes, I will live for today. Tomorrow, I will be independent and free, and I will have the power to make every moment good enough to live for each as it comes.
I will keep living for tomorrow (like Elizabeth Grayson does in Anne of Windy Poplars, I suppose) because that way, when tomorrow comes - and it will, someday, in five or six years perhaps, but someday for a certainty - it will be awesome.
26 September 2010
A City in Allegro
Just managed to apply for an NYT audition. I have a feeling that filling out the application was far more stressful than the audition could ever be. (Currently thinking Rosaline's speech to the dead Juliet from After Juliet as my monologue. Any opinions, o internets?)
~
Went to the Science Museum in London yesterday. The museum is cool, but the city is better. I love London; it's a city that moves in allegro, and it's difficult to stay in andante, even when it's necessary.
There's one particular corridor in the King's Cross Underground station that always makes me think, 'Right now, I'm under London.' Its walls are grey and curved, so it feels like being inside a giant pipe. I think I am doomed to always be a tourist.
We took the Tube from King's Cross to South Kensington. I cultivated the art of standing unsupported, with the unfortunate victim being one poor man whose brown shoes I stepped on heavily. A man at the other end of the carriage was reading a Romanian newspaper; a curly-haired girl in a formal party dress searched through her handbag, and a bleach-blonde, makeup-caked woman somewhere in her late twenties was coming back from shopping.
Many writers far more skilful than I have covered the museum itself. I dare only add the footnote that we ate linguine for lunch in a café where the only light source was the glowing tabletops. The waitress was Polish, the dissatisfied man next to us was ethnically Chinese but had an English accent, and the woman on the other side of us was a terrible mother. The glass saltshaker glowed. It was most satisfactory.
We used the museums subway from and to South Kensington. There was a man with an electric violin playing Baroque pieces who had a sign on the inside of his open violin case which read 'No Smiling: maximum penalty £200.'
I smiled anyway.
~
Might start posting this summer's Extremely Overdue Posts soon. Might not.
Bonus question: can anyone guess why the location of the summer school is an extra motivator for me to get into the NYT? ;)
~
Went to the Science Museum in London yesterday. The museum is cool, but the city is better. I love London; it's a city that moves in allegro, and it's difficult to stay in andante, even when it's necessary.
There's one particular corridor in the King's Cross Underground station that always makes me think, 'Right now, I'm under London.' Its walls are grey and curved, so it feels like being inside a giant pipe. I think I am doomed to always be a tourist.
We took the Tube from King's Cross to South Kensington. I cultivated the art of standing unsupported, with the unfortunate victim being one poor man whose brown shoes I stepped on heavily. A man at the other end of the carriage was reading a Romanian newspaper; a curly-haired girl in a formal party dress searched through her handbag, and a bleach-blonde, makeup-caked woman somewhere in her late twenties was coming back from shopping.
Many writers far more skilful than I have covered the museum itself. I dare only add the footnote that we ate linguine for lunch in a café where the only light source was the glowing tabletops. The waitress was Polish, the dissatisfied man next to us was ethnically Chinese but had an English accent, and the woman on the other side of us was a terrible mother. The glass saltshaker glowed. It was most satisfactory.
We used the museums subway from and to South Kensington. There was a man with an electric violin playing Baroque pieces who had a sign on the inside of his open violin case which read 'No Smiling: maximum penalty £200.'
I smiled anyway.
~
Might start posting this summer's Extremely Overdue Posts soon. Might not.
Bonus question: can anyone guess why the location of the summer school is an extra motivator for me to get into the NYT? ;)
02 September 2010
Letters to the World
Dear Summer Holiday,
why didn't you listen to me? I told you to slow down! I told you! And now you're threatening me with impending school? That's rich, coming from something that can't even listen to simple instructions.
Yours irritably,
Me.
~
Dear BBC,
Really? Splitting the next series of Doctor Who in half? More than a year's wait for Sherlock?
Have mercy on the poor addicts!
Yours with withdrawal symptoms,
Me.
P.S: Or at least give us copious makeouts to compensate for the wait.
(CC: Stephen Moffat, Mark Gatiss)
~
Dear Spider,
I accept your right to be on my bedroom wall. That's fine. As long as you stay in one place.
In the hopes of waking up without a spider on my face,
Me.
~
Dear Wireless Router,
Stop screwing around. Some of us actually want to use the internet.
Yours exasperatedly,
Me.
~
Dear Science Coursework,
please be magically finished with no human intervention next time I look at you.
Yours in vain hope,
Me.
~
Dear Money,
Where are you? I'm sorry for calling you the root of all evil. Please come home, I need your help!
Yours contritely,
Me.
~
why didn't you listen to me? I told you to slow down! I told you! And now you're threatening me with impending school? That's rich, coming from something that can't even listen to simple instructions.
Yours irritably,
Me.
~
Dear BBC,
Really? Splitting the next series of Doctor Who in half? More than a year's wait for Sherlock?
Have mercy on the poor addicts!
Yours with withdrawal symptoms,
Me.
P.S: Or at least give us copious makeouts to compensate for the wait.
(CC: Stephen Moffat, Mark Gatiss)
~
Dear Spider,
I accept your right to be on my bedroom wall. That's fine. As long as you stay in one place.
In the hopes of waking up without a spider on my face,
Me.
~
Dear Wireless Router,
Stop screwing around. Some of us actually want to use the internet.
Yours exasperatedly,
Me.
~
Dear Science Coursework,
please be magically finished with no human intervention next time I look at you.
Yours in vain hope,
Me.
~
Dear Money,
Where are you? I'm sorry for calling you the root of all evil. Please come home, I need your help!
Yours contritely,
Me.
~
16 August 2010
Books I Would Probably Kill For
Freak List, entry three: Sherlock Holmes, 2010 version. (Me? Fangirling about yet another loquacious, amoral genius? Never. ^^)
~
I have quite a sizeable list of Books I Really Want To Read. In some cases, I have a legitimate excuse for not having read them (for instance, the book's not out yet, or I'm broke). And some, I have no excuse whatsoever. (I don't count 'can't get past the first chapter without losing interest' as a valid excuse. Even in the case of War and Peace. *is shamefaced*)
I haven't written down the list. So don't expect me to just recite it.
One of the books near the top of the list, however, is Anna and the French Kiss, by the charming Stephanie Perkins. And I have a valid excuse for not having read it: it isn't out until December. I fell in love with Stephanie Perkins' writing style (bubbly, quirky and clever) via her blog, back when the Book, her debut novel, was still called Anna and the Boy Masterpiece. (She refers to the Boy with a capital B. I think I need to refer to the Book with a capital B.)
Needless to say, my reaction when I discovered she is giving away an ARC of Anna was to squee loudly. (It's nearly midnight, and my house is silent. I sincerely hope that means I didn't wake anyone up with the squee.) My second reaction was "SQUEEEEE IT'S INTERNATIONAL HOW CAN I ENTER HOW HOW HOW?" Yes, I'm ashamed to say that it probably was about that coherent. So, the giveaway is over here, and this is an entry. Also, there is now a countdown widget in the sidebar. Because I am just that desperate. ;)
Another item on the list is (still!) Sarah Rees Brennan's The Demon's Covenant. I swear the world is conspiring against my efforts to get hold of this book. Seriously. I tried to get it in my local Waterstone's. They didn't have it. Then I tried again. I couldn't afford it. Soon I will resort to Amazon. I mean, seriously? Seriously, World?
Bookshops in Cambridge are dropping like flies at the moment. Except the flies don't drop much around here. Only on my face when I am trying to sleep. So that's a bad cliché to use. Still. I think two out of five have closed in the last six months alone. It's quite depressing.
I will sign off, before I get more off-topic. Speaking of topics, things which I want to write about soon include the concert season, the German Exchange, reviews of Love Never Dies and A Winter's Tale, and probably Results Day or some general insanity. Or just many more posts of me ranting about my latest TV crush. You choose.
(I joke. I will, of course, choose the more esoteric option, just to be pretentious and refrain from the use of diminutive words. ;) )
~
I have quite a sizeable list of Books I Really Want To Read. In some cases, I have a legitimate excuse for not having read them (for instance, the book's not out yet, or I'm broke). And some, I have no excuse whatsoever. (I don't count 'can't get past the first chapter without losing interest' as a valid excuse. Even in the case of War and Peace. *is shamefaced*)
I haven't written down the list. So don't expect me to just recite it.
One of the books near the top of the list, however, is Anna and the French Kiss, by the charming Stephanie Perkins. And I have a valid excuse for not having read it: it isn't out until December. I fell in love with Stephanie Perkins' writing style (bubbly, quirky and clever) via her blog, back when the Book, her debut novel, was still called Anna and the Boy Masterpiece. (She refers to the Boy with a capital B. I think I need to refer to the Book with a capital B.)
Needless to say, my reaction when I discovered she is giving away an ARC of Anna was to squee loudly. (It's nearly midnight, and my house is silent. I sincerely hope that means I didn't wake anyone up with the squee.) My second reaction was "SQUEEEEE IT'S INTERNATIONAL HOW CAN I ENTER HOW HOW HOW?" Yes, I'm ashamed to say that it probably was about that coherent. So, the giveaway is over here, and this is an entry. Also, there is now a countdown widget in the sidebar. Because I am just that desperate. ;)
Another item on the list is (still!) Sarah Rees Brennan's The Demon's Covenant. I swear the world is conspiring against my efforts to get hold of this book. Seriously. I tried to get it in my local Waterstone's. They didn't have it. Then I tried again. I couldn't afford it. Soon I will resort to Amazon. I mean, seriously? Seriously, World?
Bookshops in Cambridge are dropping like flies at the moment. Except the flies don't drop much around here. Only on my face when I am trying to sleep. So that's a bad cliché to use. Still. I think two out of five have closed in the last six months alone. It's quite depressing.
I will sign off, before I get more off-topic. Speaking of topics, things which I want to write about soon include the concert season, the German Exchange, reviews of Love Never Dies and A Winter's Tale, and probably Results Day or some general insanity. Or just many more posts of me ranting about my latest TV crush. You choose.
(I joke. I will, of course, choose the more esoteric option, just to be pretentious and refrain from the use of diminutive words. ;) )
04 June 2010
Being Freaky Is Good
Speedy brain-drain onto the Web!
I should start compiling a list of high-profile Freaks. Entries one and two: the Phantom, and the entirety of the Glee Club. (This is a WIP, of course... suggestions?)
~
Glee thoughts.
1) Wow, that was some serious Kurt-Finn angst, guys.
2) I get that they wanted another Gaga song in there, but seriously, could they have chosen a less appropriate song for Shelby and Rachel?
3) Tina kicks ass.
And also, where's Emma lately?
Now I'm going to go laugh until I suffocate about Finn's lobster dress.
I should start compiling a list of high-profile Freaks. Entries one and two: the Phantom, and the entirety of the Glee Club. (This is a WIP, of course... suggestions?)
~
Glee thoughts.
1) Wow, that was some serious Kurt-Finn angst, guys.
2) I get that they wanted another Gaga song in there, but seriously, could they have chosen a less appropriate song for Shelby and Rachel?
3) Tina kicks ass.
And also, where's Emma lately?
Now I'm going to go laugh until I suffocate about Finn's lobster dress.
01 June 2010
I Am Blogging To Bring Down The Chandelier
You'd never get away with all this in a play, but if it's loudly sung and in a foreign tongue, it's just the sort of story audiences adore - in fact, a perfect opera!
~
So today I officially had the best birthday ever.
It involved trains and portraits and mysterious masked murderers and CAKE.
That actually sounds a bit like a book summary. Okay, dear reader, I admit it wasn't quite novel-worthy. But it was certainly blog-worthy!
My mom and I took the train to London this morning and, after navigating through the Underground for about half an hour, emerged somewhere near Trafalgar Square. It's easy to see why there are so many dystopian and sci-fi novels set around the London Underground - it really is like an entirely different world. When we surfaced - being England - it was raining. This meant that I couldn't slide down the lions at the base of Nelson's Column, unfortunately.
Since we had about two hours to kill, and the museum was between us and our eventual destination, we decided we'd visit the National Gallery. Mom spent the whole time mocking the genitalia of the religious paintings. Also, can any wise person explain the significance of pickles in 15th Century Italian altarpieces? We spotted about six. It was most puzzling.
We were kicked out of - ahem. I mean, we left the gallery about an hour and a half of mockery later.
Yes, I'm deliberately leaving you in suspense.
...
...okay, I'll tell you. We went to see Phantom of the Opera at Her Majesty's Theatre.
It was, basically, amazing. The costumes were beautiful, the sets were clever, the pyrotechnics... unexpected, and the cast stellar. (I'm restraining myself from using exclamation marks because if I start, I won't be able to stop.) I loved it. ...More flippantly, I liked the fact that the Phantom was rescued from a circus freakshow. Maybe when I escape from being a freak I will also be a genius! Lots to look forward to!
As you probably know, my greatest ambition is to act in a West End musical. Phantom did nothing to discourage me.
Also, now I'm going to be singing songs with mildly disturbing lyrics all week. ;)
(Exit stage left, singing to self.) Soooftly, deeeftly, music will careeeessss yoouuu... heeeaar it, feeel it seeeecretly posseeeessss yooooouuuu... da da doobie dooo, doobie doo bie doobie dooo... doo doo da doo, the music of the niiiiiight.
P.S. It! Was! Freaking! Awesome! Exclamation! Mark! Ahem. Sorry.
~
So today I officially had the best birthday ever.
It involved trains and portraits and mysterious masked murderers and CAKE.
That actually sounds a bit like a book summary. Okay, dear reader, I admit it wasn't quite novel-worthy. But it was certainly blog-worthy!
My mom and I took the train to London this morning and, after navigating through the Underground for about half an hour, emerged somewhere near Trafalgar Square. It's easy to see why there are so many dystopian and sci-fi novels set around the London Underground - it really is like an entirely different world. When we surfaced - being England - it was raining. This meant that I couldn't slide down the lions at the base of Nelson's Column, unfortunately.
Since we had about two hours to kill, and the museum was between us and our eventual destination, we decided we'd visit the National Gallery. Mom spent the whole time mocking the genitalia of the religious paintings. Also, can any wise person explain the significance of pickles in 15th Century Italian altarpieces? We spotted about six. It was most puzzling.
We were kicked out of - ahem. I mean, we left the gallery about an hour and a half of mockery later.
Yes, I'm deliberately leaving you in suspense.
...
...okay, I'll tell you. We went to see Phantom of the Opera at Her Majesty's Theatre.
It was, basically, amazing. The costumes were beautiful, the sets were clever, the pyrotechnics... unexpected, and the cast stellar. (I'm restraining myself from using exclamation marks because if I start, I won't be able to stop.) I loved it. ...More flippantly, I liked the fact that the Phantom was rescued from a circus freakshow. Maybe when I escape from being a freak I will also be a genius! Lots to look forward to!
As you probably know, my greatest ambition is to act in a West End musical. Phantom did nothing to discourage me.
Also, now I'm going to be singing songs with mildly disturbing lyrics all week. ;)
(Exit stage left, singing to self.) Soooftly, deeeftly, music will careeeessss yoouuu... heeeaar it, feeel it seeeecretly posseeeessss yooooouuuu... da da doobie dooo, doobie doo bie doobie dooo... doo doo da doo, the music of the niiiiiight.
P.S. It! Was! Freaking! Awesome! Exclamation! Mark! Ahem. Sorry.
10 May 2010
In Which Codenames Are Introduced
...and the Situation Becomes Complicated.
Okay, not really. But the codenames part is true.
~
I've been singing in various choirs for a bit over three years now. Earlier this year, I finally got into what's basically my school's elite choir, a chamber choir called St. Cecilia. (Well. It's supposed to be a chamber choir. I think we have 36 or 37 members this year...)
I've had a lot of chances to do really cool stuff with St. Cecilia. For instance, we've performed a Bach cantata with the London Mozart Players. Last month we won the Peterborough festival with an arrangement of the song Africa, by Toto. (This one, except we did it without the rainstorm at the beginning; the song starts around 1:49)
So since we're supposed to be so elite, our director - who should know better - left us to organise our own rehearsal today. It was... interesting. She'd left in charge one of my classmates, who, since this is supposed to be an anonymous blog, we'll call Animal. (you know, after the Muppet. Basically, he's a red-haired taciturn percussionist. I feel the nickname is fitting.) The boy who ended up conducting was another of my classmates - he's a very good composer and a nice guy, but he has one of those 'serious musician' faces (you know the ones), so for the sake of argument, let's call him Beethoven II.
And... well, this could get very long and carried away, so I'll just leave you with Beethoven Two describing the dynamics of a crescendo as "like a beautiful flower of sound blossoming" and a girl screaming at - let's call her Rachel, because she permanently reminds me of the Glee character - "You are not the designated whistleblower!" (Rachel is very fond of whistles. I learned that when she directed the Beatles cover band. But that's a story for another day.)
It was most amusing.
And I like codenames. :)
Okay, not really. But the codenames part is true.
~
I've been singing in various choirs for a bit over three years now. Earlier this year, I finally got into what's basically my school's elite choir, a chamber choir called St. Cecilia. (Well. It's supposed to be a chamber choir. I think we have 36 or 37 members this year...)
I've had a lot of chances to do really cool stuff with St. Cecilia. For instance, we've performed a Bach cantata with the London Mozart Players. Last month we won the Peterborough festival with an arrangement of the song Africa, by Toto. (This one, except we did it without the rainstorm at the beginning; the song starts around 1:49)
So since we're supposed to be so elite, our director - who should know better - left us to organise our own rehearsal today. It was... interesting. She'd left in charge one of my classmates, who, since this is supposed to be an anonymous blog, we'll call Animal. (you know, after the Muppet. Basically, he's a red-haired taciturn percussionist. I feel the nickname is fitting.) The boy who ended up conducting was another of my classmates - he's a very good composer and a nice guy, but he has one of those 'serious musician' faces (you know the ones), so for the sake of argument, let's call him Beethoven II.
And... well, this could get very long and carried away, so I'll just leave you with Beethoven Two describing the dynamics of a crescendo as "like a beautiful flower of sound blossoming" and a girl screaming at - let's call her Rachel, because she permanently reminds me of the Glee character - "You are not the designated whistleblower!" (Rachel is very fond of whistles. I learned that when she directed the Beatles cover band. But that's a story for another day.)
It was most amusing.
And I like codenames. :)
07 May 2010
Words
Too many posts which I want to write, not enough 'can be bothered'. Whatever is a girl to do? :)
~
Everything is so much easier when it's written down. Not like thoughts, which are transient, gossamer things, or sounds, which are too easily changed or forgotten. Words - this strange code of little squiggly shapes which meaning is disguised in - just stay put and communicate. They're by far the most trustworthy.
Sometimes, like now, things can get to be overwhelming. Writing to-do lists (I use Post-its ^^) puts everything in perspective again. Sometimes fleeting moods get carried away. Writing blog posts (o hai.) sorts out my head.
And voilà, head is sorted out. :) Next time I will make more sense, I hope! Maybe I will finally write about [insert one of several post topics which I keep meaning to get to here]!
If I haven't annoyed you enough yet... I now have Twitter! You can stalk me on twitter.com/freakshow_girl, if you are so inclined.
~
Everything is so much easier when it's written down. Not like thoughts, which are transient, gossamer things, or sounds, which are too easily changed or forgotten. Words - this strange code of little squiggly shapes which meaning is disguised in - just stay put and communicate. They're by far the most trustworthy.
Sometimes, like now, things can get to be overwhelming. Writing to-do lists (I use Post-its ^^) puts everything in perspective again. Sometimes fleeting moods get carried away. Writing blog posts (o hai.) sorts out my head.
And voilà, head is sorted out. :) Next time I will make more sense, I hope! Maybe I will finally write about [insert one of several post topics which I keep meaning to get to here]!
If I haven't annoyed you enough yet... I now have Twitter! You can stalk me on twitter.com/freakshow_girl, if you are so inclined.
17 April 2010
Madmen with Boxes
Two posts in one day! Shock horror!
~
New Doctor Who = LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. And more LOVE.
"I am a madman with a box." = LOVE.
New Doctor? Brilliant. (Insane. Perfect.) New companion? Brilliant. (the overemphasised legs are a mark against her. The fact that she hits interlopers with a cricket bat and stares at men getting changed? Big plus. Great character.)
So yeah. LOVE.
Now going to try and work out how to watch the second episode before I watch the third episode tomorrow. :D
~
New Doctor Who = LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. And more LOVE.
"I am a madman with a box." = LOVE.
New Doctor? Brilliant. (Insane. Perfect.) New companion? Brilliant. (the overemphasised legs are a mark against her. The fact that she hits interlopers with a cricket bat and stares at men getting changed? Big plus. Great character.)
So yeah. LOVE.
Now going to try and work out how to watch the second episode before I watch the third episode tomorrow. :D
A Smile
Blog entry in four minutes. Actually, three now. Can I do it?
Probably not.
~
I have my first follower! Hi, follower! Why are you stalking me? *ahem* I mean, thanks for following me!
In light of this, and my recent revelations that optimism is actually kinda fun, I've decided that I'm not going to blog anything angsty. It's unoriginal and uninteresting. This blog is now on happy pills. *ahem* I mean, just happy.
~
So who else is following this and thinks it's a pretty cool idea?
And I'm sorry, but this makes me laugh. Satanism in Harry Potter? Really? Thank goodness censorship is out.
~
And on the topic of that - well. Where do I start with the politics? (I'll end soon after I decide where to start, I promise)
Um. From the debate, I deduce they all suck extremely, except for Nick Clegg who sucks mildly. And Brown "agrees with Nick". Yeah, that'll do.
I can't even vote yet. Why do I bother?
Oover and oot, as the Scots would say.
Probably not.
~
I have my first follower! Hi, follower! Why are you stalking me? *ahem* I mean, thanks for following me!
In light of this, and my recent revelations that optimism is actually kinda fun, I've decided that I'm not going to blog anything angsty. It's unoriginal and uninteresting. This blog is now on happy pills. *ahem* I mean, just happy.
~
So who else is following this and thinks it's a pretty cool idea?
And I'm sorry, but this makes me laugh. Satanism in Harry Potter? Really? Thank goodness censorship is out.
~
And on the topic of that - well. Where do I start with the politics? (I'll end soon after I decide where to start, I promise)
Um. From the debate, I deduce they all suck extremely, except for Nick Clegg who sucks mildly. And Brown "agrees with Nick". Yeah, that'll do.
I can't even vote yet. Why do I bother?
Oover and oot, as the Scots would say.
08 March 2010
Pieceful
An image-day today, an idea-day, a fragment-day. Spent it in one of those moods where even the rabbit-holes in ditches looked sinister. The white fragments in lemon/honey tea swirling like a dust devil. Fingers spiderily trying three times to put the rehearsed motions of password-typing in the right place. Weather grey again, and the magpies gone again. Other people never notice things, like the metal fence outside our maths test weeks ago squeaking two notes a perfect fifth apart as it warped in the wind; the strange beauty of the ugliness of the real world and its real people. Too commercialised, too conditioned to see how ugly beauty is, how beautiful hideousness is.
I'm in one of those moods, still. Everything feels kind of useless. As if I'm not good at what I like, and I don't like what I'm good at. Futile. I can't deal with schoolwork and everyday petty rivalries when my head is spinning with trying to observe the not-quite-real that surrounds us. There's stuff I'll write about, when I get around to it: books and choir competitions and past-present-future life. But that's too normal for right now.
I shouldn't be writing. I gave up creative writing for Lent, to sort out my attitude. It's not working, and sometimes things just overflow.
I'm in one of those moods, still. Everything feels kind of useless. As if I'm not good at what I like, and I don't like what I'm good at. Futile. I can't deal with schoolwork and everyday petty rivalries when my head is spinning with trying to observe the not-quite-real that surrounds us. There's stuff I'll write about, when I get around to it: books and choir competitions and past-present-future life. But that's too normal for right now.
I shouldn't be writing. I gave up creative writing for Lent, to sort out my attitude. It's not working, and sometimes things just overflow.
16 February 2010
Mash-up
I have some catching up to do, don't I?
~
It doesn't matter what I write here, of course, because she'll never read it, but I need to say a couple things.
You make me feel inadequate every day, and it astonishes me how unhappy you are with yourself. There's no need - believe me, you're pretty and talented and smart, and so many people envy you. And I owe you an apology: I didn't know how much you hated it when I made you write. (It's just 'cause you're a brilliant writer, and I will totally be reading your bestseller. ^^)
~
Sorry, that just needed getting off my mind.
So. I really should be using this break to catch up on all the coursework that was slipping towards the end of last half-term - English and Science and History, mostly.
Bah.
Instead, I'm blogging. How useful, c'est non? And catching up on a lot of unnecessary reading.
And shopping. Today in town I got a really pretty green T-shirt/dress thing, and some extremely shiny shoes. :) Retail therapy makes me happy.
~
I have another post to post, about charity stuff and suchlike, but I really can't be bothered to post the post tonight.
Hehe. Post the post with posted post in the post on the post to the post O post postdated posturing post!
Uh. WTH.
~
Most of my friends are currently on the other side of an ocean. This is not an entirely unfamiliar feeling, since generally the majority of my extended family is across the Atlantic from me.
That doesn't make it less lonely.
~
Yes, the title is a Glee reference. Yes, I'm a Gleek. Yes, you should get over it. :D Also you should watch Glee because it is an awesome show.
~
Okay, I'm too tired to be coherent. See you tomorrow! (hopefully.)
~
It doesn't matter what I write here, of course, because she'll never read it, but I need to say a couple things.
You make me feel inadequate every day, and it astonishes me how unhappy you are with yourself. There's no need - believe me, you're pretty and talented and smart, and so many people envy you. And I owe you an apology: I didn't know how much you hated it when I made you write. (It's just 'cause you're a brilliant writer, and I will totally be reading your bestseller. ^^)
~
Sorry, that just needed getting off my mind.
So. I really should be using this break to catch up on all the coursework that was slipping towards the end of last half-term - English and Science and History, mostly.
Bah.
Instead, I'm blogging. How useful, c'est non? And catching up on a lot of unnecessary reading.
And shopping. Today in town I got a really pretty green T-shirt/dress thing, and some extremely shiny shoes. :) Retail therapy makes me happy.
~
I have another post to post, about charity stuff and suchlike, but I really can't be bothered to post the post tonight.
Hehe. Post the post with posted post in the post on the post to the post O post postdated posturing post!
Uh. WTH.
~
Most of my friends are currently on the other side of an ocean. This is not an entirely unfamiliar feeling, since generally the majority of my extended family is across the Atlantic from me.
That doesn't make it less lonely.
~
Yes, the title is a Glee reference. Yes, I'm a Gleek. Yes, you should get over it. :D Also you should watch Glee because it is an awesome show.
~
Okay, I'm too tired to be coherent. See you tomorrow! (hopefully.)
18 January 2010
Why Marx Was Right
It's Martin Luther King Day. I am writing about communism. This is appropriate, and makes sense in every way.
...um, yeah.
Happy Martin Luther King day.
~
As far as I can see, Karl Marx was pretty much right. (well, except that he was left-wing. *cue groans from audience*)
Marx was this guy. A guy with a very big beard and even bigger ideas. (aha, that wasn't what you thought I was going to say, was it?) He's probably most famous for inventing the theory of Communism.
Wait! Stop there! I know you're probably thinking "Oh. Communists. Whatever. I know they're the bad guys."
But the fact is, that type of Communism (as in Soviet Russia, North Korea) is not what Marx originally came up with.
Marx's idea was more a concept of social evolution. Four main types of political system are involved:
The feudal system: king tells lords what to do in exchange for land, then lords delegate this to peasants in return for smaller bits of land. For example, medieval England.
Capitalism: each person is paid for what they do and acquires individual wealth. For example, most modern-day economies, like the US.
Socialism: each person is paid for what they do, but with each person having access to the same resources and opportunities. For example... um... sort of what Margaret Thatcher tried to do in Britain? The UK shades a bit towards socialist, anyway.
Communism: everyone has the same share of the wealth and property: everyone works to improve life for everyone. There is no class division. For example... well, there aren't really any examples...
He theorised that, in the same way that the feudal system eventually developed into capitalism, capitalism would naturally develop into socialism, and, from there, into communism. In between socialism and communism would be the "revolution of the proletariat", in which the working classes would revolt and take charge of this new system.
I should probably mention at this point that I agree more with what's called "libertarian Marxism". Libertarian Marxism (as opposed to, say, Maoism or Stalinism) believes that this revolution will eventually come about of its own accord, without need for a party or individual to lead the way.
The trouble is, by publishing his Manifesto, Marx essentially shot his own theory in the foot. By putting about this idea that the eventual state which all societies should strive towards is Communism, he encouraged leaders to try and jump the middle stages. Thus, many tried to skip directly from the early stages of capitalism all the way to true communism.
It doesn't work. *points in direction of the Soviet Union* You see this country? No, you don't. Because it no longer exists. And part of the reason for that is because it tried to force itself into Communism. One great problem with Communism (particularly Leninist varieties) is that it's incredibly easy for a corrupt leader to take advantage of. And all these things have contributed to making "communism" a dirty word in politics. Because of that, even if a society today reached the state which Marx called communism, they wouldn't call it that - because everyone knows that communism is an evil political system. (Bah.)
(I should stop before I get really carried away...)
So basically, Marx (because he was left) was right.
Dang, now I really should get a copy of the Communist Manifesto. ;)
(yes, I wrote all that without ever having read it. Aren't Ethics lesson summaries great? Maybe I should read things before I support them...)
...um, yeah.
Happy Martin Luther King day.
~
As far as I can see, Karl Marx was pretty much right. (well, except that he was left-wing. *cue groans from audience*)
Marx was this guy. A guy with a very big beard and even bigger ideas. (aha, that wasn't what you thought I was going to say, was it?) He's probably most famous for inventing the theory of Communism.
Wait! Stop there! I know you're probably thinking "Oh. Communists. Whatever. I know they're the bad guys."
But the fact is, that type of Communism (as in Soviet Russia, North Korea) is not what Marx originally came up with.
Marx's idea was more a concept of social evolution. Four main types of political system are involved:
The feudal system: king tells lords what to do in exchange for land, then lords delegate this to peasants in return for smaller bits of land. For example, medieval England.
Capitalism: each person is paid for what they do and acquires individual wealth. For example, most modern-day economies, like the US.
Socialism: each person is paid for what they do, but with each person having access to the same resources and opportunities. For example... um... sort of what Margaret Thatcher tried to do in Britain? The UK shades a bit towards socialist, anyway.
Communism: everyone has the same share of the wealth and property: everyone works to improve life for everyone. There is no class division. For example... well, there aren't really any examples...
He theorised that, in the same way that the feudal system eventually developed into capitalism, capitalism would naturally develop into socialism, and, from there, into communism. In between socialism and communism would be the "revolution of the proletariat", in which the working classes would revolt and take charge of this new system.
I should probably mention at this point that I agree more with what's called "libertarian Marxism". Libertarian Marxism (as opposed to, say, Maoism or Stalinism) believes that this revolution will eventually come about of its own accord, without need for a party or individual to lead the way.
The trouble is, by publishing his Manifesto, Marx essentially shot his own theory in the foot. By putting about this idea that the eventual state which all societies should strive towards is Communism, he encouraged leaders to try and jump the middle stages. Thus, many tried to skip directly from the early stages of capitalism all the way to true communism.
It doesn't work. *points in direction of the Soviet Union* You see this country? No, you don't. Because it no longer exists. And part of the reason for that is because it tried to force itself into Communism. One great problem with Communism (particularly Leninist varieties) is that it's incredibly easy for a corrupt leader to take advantage of. And all these things have contributed to making "communism" a dirty word in politics. Because of that, even if a society today reached the state which Marx called communism, they wouldn't call it that - because everyone knows that communism is an evil political system. (Bah.)
(I should stop before I get really carried away...)
So basically, Marx (because he was left) was right.
Dang, now I really should get a copy of the Communist Manifesto. ;)
(yes, I wrote all that without ever having read it. Aren't Ethics lesson summaries great? Maybe I should read things before I support them...)
12 January 2010
Promise.
What I should be doing: my German homework
What I'm actually doing: blogging
~
I can't make many promises about this blog. It's a personal blog, so expect all the faults of the person. I am human; I have ambitions, hopes, dreams, loves, hates, and ideas. And, much like you, I occasionally make mistakes, and I'm sometimes boring. If you don't care/don't know why I bother/disagree with my ideas/some similar complaint, don't read it. This is just life through my eyes. I'm not forcing you to care.
I can't promise regularity, or anything like a direction, and I won't promise that I won't rant occasionally.
However, I will make one promise: this will never be a cliché teenager's blog. I'm not normal - if there even is such a thing as a normal person - and I doubt I could blog normally if I tried.
Basically, I'll try to keep the angst to a minimum. ;)
~
The header is by me, but the texture in the background was made by wheeloffish on deviantArt [link]
What I'm actually doing: blogging
~
I can't make many promises about this blog. It's a personal blog, so expect all the faults of the person. I am human; I have ambitions, hopes, dreams, loves, hates, and ideas. And, much like you, I occasionally make mistakes, and I'm sometimes boring. If you don't care/don't know why I bother/disagree with my ideas/some similar complaint, don't read it. This is just life through my eyes. I'm not forcing you to care.
I can't promise regularity, or anything like a direction, and I won't promise that I won't rant occasionally.
However, I will make one promise: this will never be a cliché teenager's blog. I'm not normal - if there even is such a thing as a normal person - and I doubt I could blog normally if I tried.
Basically, I'll try to keep the angst to a minimum. ;)
~
The header is by me, but the texture in the background was made by wheeloffish on deviantArt [link]
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